Vegas 2006 - Day 2 - Part Two

So, with Power Pass in hand, our heroes continued on their quest. The next item on the list was to get tickets to a Cirque show. We went to a discount ticket place to inquire about tickets for a Cirque show, any Cirque show. None. Apparently, Tuesday is the day off for all Cirque shows except Ka, so no discount for you. We milled around outside for a little bit, looking at the monitors to try and decide what show to go to. As luck would have it .. well, not actually luck, because like everywhere else in Vegas, there were people milling around looking to be helpful .. someone came to our aid and told us that the Rita Rudner tickets she overhead us talking about were actually VIP tickets. That meant we actually get to meet Rita and get her autograph. We were overjoyed and promptly went to get the tickets. Our day was finally looking up! BTW, this helpful person met all the criteria of what helpful employees should be. She was wearing a t-shirt that clearly identified her as an employee, only talked about what we wanted to hear, and didn't ask that we give her name to the guy behind the cash so that she could get her commission. Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

For those of you wondering who Rita Rudner is. Well, here's the info from her official website - http://www.ritafunny.com/about_rita.php, though it's a little outdated. Basically, she's a comedian who was performing at New York, New York (the casino) the last time we were in Vegas, and who no one else in our party wanted to see. Anne and I had seen her on TV a long, long time ago (though only I remembered), and I really wanted to see her perform. So, we finally got my chance.

Unfortunately, we didn't actually buy any tickets. What we bought were vouchers, which could be exchanged for tickets at the Harrah's box office, which required crossing the dungeon^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hcasino floor, avoiding the free dinner and show goblins (because apparently, it's illegal to slay them), climbing several flights of moving stairs, and then waiting in line.

Fortunately, the line wasn't very long, and Anne used the time to book a Power Pass trip to Hoover Dam. All I could do was watch her and think to myself, "I'm glad she's the one paying 99 cents a minute for those roaming charges!" Then I got my VIP tickets, found out that there is no dress code, and in Vegas, that could probably mean, "As long as you've got something covering your privates."

Now we had a few hours to kill before the show, and since we were already at Harrah's we decide to give in to the not-so-subtle messages all around us and hit the penny slots. The sucking noises continued, as someone noticed that I didn't have the Harrah's perk card yet, and offered me a discount on the dinner buffet to get one for free. Of course, I accepted. It came with a free tote bag, and as Martha Stewart Omnimedia already knows, I will buy anything that comes with a free tote bag!

The buffet itself was pretty good, but not very memorable. I know there was Chinese and Italian food, but beyond that *shrug*, . Of course, I had to get my money's worth, 10% discounted or not. My excuse was that I would have to walk a mini-marathon to get to the monorail later tonight, so all these calories don't count. Besides, I hear that in Vegas you could stand outside and just sweat the pounds away.

After dinner, we waddled our way up several flights of escalators to the Rita Rudner show. Like cattle, the people with VIP tickets (which was basically everybody) were herded through a side door to meet Rita, get her autographed book and DVD. While in line, Anne kept asking me, "She's the one with the behind the milk joke? You're sure now? I don't want to tell her that I love that joke, and find out it wasn't hers."

Then a miracle happened! Everyone was allowed to pass their cameras back to the person behind them to get a picture taken with Rita. For free! In Vegas! Rita even pretended that she knew what Anne was talking about when she gushed about how much she loved the behind the milk joke. Then we were shuffled out another door to our seats, but not before the usher indicated that (to paraphrase Chief Wiggum) he could get us much better seats if we could help find his friend, Bill. However, before we could determine if it was his friend Bill who looked like Andrew Jackson, or who looked like Abraham Lincoln, we were already at our sort of out of the way seats.

Of course, more people wanted us to find their friends, also named Bill. One was willing to introduce us to her good friend, Jack Daniels. I opted to meet Earl Grey instead. I think Anne wanted to meet the dashing Captain Morgan. Then another lady came by and took pictures of us, but said that we could help her friend find Bill after the show. Anne's comment, "Why would we pay for those pictures when we got a free one with Rita Rudner already?"

The show itself was very good. Highlights include:

"I'm not going to tell you my age because I'm over 50 and in this city, they implode anything over 50".

"So, when I'm doing the show at night, this being Vegas, I hire a Rita Rudner impersonator to spend time with my daughter. He does such a great job!"

"You get used to the Vegas lifestyle. The other day I was in LA with my husband and order a daiquiri. They actually served it in a glass! I said, 'What? Don't you have anything bigger, like a bucket?"

(And the untold behind the milk joke: "My dad always asks my mom for a beer from the fridge, and one day, I ask my mom, "Why doesn't he get it himself?" She replied, "He can't see it. It's behind the milk".)

After the show, we headed towards TI, to watch the free "Sirens of TI" show. Our travel guide calls it the the tackiest (or cheesiest) show on the strip, and there was absolutely no doubt it was. Some people were walking away in disgust at the skimpy, glittery clothing, sexual innuendo, bad lip syncing, and so-so dancing. It was like a Britney concert, but thankfully shorter, and with much better pyro. Speaking of pyro, we walked across the street to watch the volcano at the Mirage. After that we started our mini-marathon to find the monorail station.