Nov 7, 2006
For those of you who didn't believe it, here's that sign from the hotel room:
We started the day with brunch at the Stratosphere. The selection was excellent, but we were too excited about the plans we'd made for the day to truly appreciate the food. Today's plan was simple - get the Power Pass from Planet Hollywood, get tickets for Rita Rudner, enjoy Rita Rudner ... well, at least her comedy. It seemed like a pretty simple plan. However, we started off on the wrong foot, as we wanted to walk from the Stratosphere to Planet Hollywood (located at the Forum Shops at Caesar's) because "It doesn't look that far on the map". Actually, it was quite far, about an hour walking in the desert far, but we managed get some pictures of the clown in front of Circus Circus, and the Stardust sign, which, by now, is probably no longer there.
("I can't tell you my age because .. in Vegas, they implode anything over 50". - Rita Rudner)
I should explain that the Power Pass was a pass that allowed you access to various Vegas attractions, including the Hoover Dam, for a single price. We paid something like $95 each for a two day pass, on the knowledge that with Hoover Dam going to take at least half a day, we couldn't take full advantage of the pass otherwise. On their website, it said the pass could be obtained from Planet Hollywood, which is located at the Forum Shops.
The Forum Shops actually allow you to go shopping without setting foot on the casino floor. We quickly checked the map to try and figure out where Planet Hollywood was. A very nice man appeared out of nowhere, showed us the best way to get there, and even gave us a coupon for a free appetizer there. The coupon had the guy's name on it. I swear that everyone working in Vegas seems to be working on commission (except maybe Celine Dion). They would do anything to get your attention, and it was starting to really get on my nerves. I'm surprised that I didn't notice it the last time I was in Vegas. Yes, there were the Mexicans handing out "Strippers Direct to You" pamphlets, but at least they don't try to talk to you, and don't try to trick you. (More on that later). You took their pamphlets if you wanted strippers direct to you, or were too cheap (or broke) to buy a souvenir.
Planet Hollywood wasn't difficult to find, but we were first distracted by the free show that we missed last time, and about half way through it, we decided we wanted to miss it again. The free Atlantis show deeper into the belly of this beast was just so much better. This one was total cheese.
At Planet Hollywood:
Frank - Hi, we'd like to buy a Power Pass.
Planet Hollywood - You can't buy the pass here.
Anne - But the website said ...
PH - You can only convert the voucher you buy elsewhere to a pass.
F - And where do we buy the voucher from?
PH - From the concierge.
F - Which way is that?
PH - That way.
Of course, "that" way was the wrong way. We followed PH's directions and ended up at a sign that indicated the concierge was actually towards Planet Hollywood. So, we went back the way we came, and came upon a sign that indicated the concierge was away from Planet Hollywood.
Frank - WTF?
Anne - I think I saw an information desk over there. I'll go ask.
Indeed, there was a desk, manned by smiling, friendly people in tuxedos, looking all informative.
Anne - Hi, we'd like to buy a Power Pass.
Smiley #1 - A what?
Anne - A Power Pass, it lets you get into various Vegas attractions for one low price.
Smiley #1 - A what?
Frank - Vegas Power Pass
Smiley #1 - I'm not sure what that is, but that my co-worker over there might.
Anne - Hi, we'd like to buy a Power Pass.
Smiley #2 - A what?
Anne - A Power Pass, it lets you get into various Vegas attractions at one low price.
Smiley #2 - Oh. Well, maybe you'd be interested in a free dinner and a free show. Let's look in my binder here at your options, should we?
Frank - WTF?
Smiley #2 - What hotel are you staying at?
Anne - The Stratosphere.
Smiley #2 - Well, we can have a bus pick you up to take a tour of the new Marriot Resorts*, and for that you can have a free dinner at the casino restaurant of your choice, and you can go to selected shows of your choice. Cirque? George Wallace? (And if you come back in a couple of months, you can see Britney Spears' Caesarian scar). **
Anne - We just want to buy a Power Pass.
Smiley #2 - Oh, you can get that at the concierge.
Anne (getting angry, but more beautiful) - Where's that?
Smiley #2 - Way at the other end, but you promise to come back after you get the pass?
Anne - Yeah ... sure.
Smiley #1 - You promise to come back?
Anne - Yeah ... sure.
* (My memory is short, so it might not have been the Marriot Resorts, but it was something to do with the hotels or the condos springing up all over the strip or just something way beyond my buying, or even borrowing, ability).
** (Obviously, he didn't say that, but I'm sure that if showing me upskirt pictures of an over-partied pop princess would get me to drink the Koolaid .. err ... take the tour, he'd be more than happy to do it).
At this point, I was just pissed. What the fuck is wrong with this place? After being deceived (and having my time wasted) like that, why would I want to have anything to do with what they have to sell? Next time, wear a t-shirt that says "Resort Tours Direct to You" and snap your fingers at me when I am walking by. At least that way, I know that you are trying to get me interested in something that I can't be interested in with my wife two feet away.
We eventually did find the concierge, and slightly to our chagrin, we realized that we have the exact same Travelocity concierge at the Stratosphere. We bought the vouchers and during the small talk that occurred when Anne was paying for it, we entered into Bizarro world:
Anne - Is there a way out of here without going back the way we came?
Concierge - There is, but I wouldn't recommend it, as you would have to go through the casino.
Frank - WTF?
